I also have a group of women who I consider to be my close friends. Olivia, Suzette, Helga, Hollie, Kara, Layla, Kira (I hope), SC and Cammy when she was still with us. I call them Carers like they look after me but I think they all know that I look after them as well. I picked SC up from a pretty low place after she broke up with her long-term boyfriend. Olivia and me go back years when we were always there for each other. Suzettes mum died and I went round her house every day to check up on her. And the least we say about Helgas love life and the counselling I've had to give her the better for all our sakes.
Today I could be writing a very negative article. Somebody has definitely written a very negative article about me. Not only that but to protect my identity they gave me the shittest alter ego possible.
Paul.
Fucking Paul. You've all read my work. You've all seen me in action. Do I sound like a fucking Paul to you?! Plus it's the name of my dead brother in law, but you know, we wont go there.
But I'm not going to be angry. I'm going to write a nice piece about one of my carers instead.
Lenka is actually her real name. Shes allowed me use it (mainly because if I say anything bad about her she will chew me up and cut my feet off). She is a 26 year old Slovakian witty, sexy, badass motherfucker. I first met her when me and Helga bumped into my friend Chris and we hit it off straight away. She was trying to deny that her then boyfriend was actually her then boyfriend. But I was having none of it. I can spot that little smile that someone gets when they discuss someone they like from a fucking mile off. And true to my word, a few months later when they broke up she was fucking devastated.
Now we all know I'm an OK writer. And Lenka is not the sort of person who you hug without her expressed permission. So what I did was write her compliments. Now I know she would and will never sleep with me. I'm about 8 years too old, about 2 stone too fat, she would fucking destroy me and also she is much more attractive than me. So I wasn't complimenting her to get in her pants. I'm not the sort of guy who sleeps with women when they are vulnerable (don't listen to Skylar). So to cheer her up I would tell her how much of an independent woman she is. How beautiful she is. How she was a fucking inspiration to me and to women everywhere. I like to think it helped her a bit.
We stayed friends ever since and I'm glad to say she has a new boyfriend who is awesome and things are going really well. Recently I've been going through a tough time. And she's been there for me every step of the way. I ditched her several times to meet a girl who I thought I may have had a connection with. She still took me back. At the moment I've fallen out with another of my carers called Kira and Lenka is doing everything she can to fix it. She is one of the few people that keeps me grounded. A lot of my carers I just get hammered with but she 'adults' with me. We have dinner at hers. We go for walks through the common. We watch movies. She's just a cool fucking dude and I love her and I hope she knows how much I appreciate everything she does for me.
Of course she's not the only one. One day I'll hopefully write something nice about Olivia. Or Tim. Or SC. Or DK. Or Dexter. Or Andy. Or Phil. I'm pretty hungover right now. And this shit with Skylar is giving me all sorts of grief even though I massively miss hanging out with her. But I'm so glad I have such a big network of boys, carers and mates around me. We should all appreciate our friends. Not just our family, lovers and partners. And your friends should appreciate you back.
It's a tough fucking world out there, stick together kiddos. you're gonna need each other
A funny one tomorrow I promise.
Peace And Love
